Do you like me? Check Yes or No
by Ms.Informed13
Summary: A series of letters between Rachel and a secret admirer, told entirely through the letters they exchange. Fair warning, this is not a Rachel/Finn story
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- So this is pretty much cannon. Set during Senior year (the dates are going to be 2014 cause that's easier for me, but the original glee cast is in their senior year of high school).**

**Special thing about this fic- after this first chapter, everything is going to be completely written in letters, no narrative, just letters between Rachel and Anon (please let me know if you have a better name than 'Anon' for the secret admirer cause I got's nothin!)**

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Rachel walked into her half empty third period English class, and was greeted with the sight of a piece of notebook paper folded into quarters on her desk. Her initial reaction was to crumple it up and throw it away, but written on the outside in elegant capital letters was 'To- Ms. Rachel Berry.'

Sitting down and taking a covert around the room, Rachel ensured that nobody was watching as she opened and read the letter-

Monday, February 17, 2014

Dear Rachel,

Let me just start by saying I can't believe I'm actually writing a secret admirer letter. But remember that passage we read in English the other day? About living like weasels? The whole point was to just stop thinking things through too much and live in the present and go for it. So here I go.

I really like you Rachel. I know you are dating Finn and I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that, but I really like you. All of you, from your beautiful voice to your argyle sweaters. There isn't one part of you that I can't imagine ever wanting to change...aside from your choice in companions.

I remember that glee competition when you sang 'Don't Rain on My Parade'-yes, I was there and yes, I realize I am dating myself here but yes, I have liked you since sophomore year- just listening to the soul you poured into that performance, I felt something. Something I can't shove down and deny any longer.

Sitting here writing this, even I can't ignore how juvenile this whole endeavor is. It's like we're in grade school again when boys would write girls those letters, 'do you like me? check yes or no.' but I can't help it. I need to know that you know. Even if you don't know who I am, I need you to know that someone out there cares deeply about you Rachel.

You don't know this, but most of the time when it seems like I'm diligently taking notes, I'm really just writing poetry in my notebook. I wrote a poem for you and maybe one day I'll share it with you. Today, is unfortunately, not that day. But perhaps soon.

Until I write again,

Anon.

P.S. You look really cute in that green cardigan, no matter what the cheerleaders say.

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**Short for the first chapter, tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy this chapter -fair warning, there is cheesy poetry in this one- but here ya' go!**

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February, Thursday 20, 2014

Dear Rachel,

If not for the smile I saw grace you face when you read my first letter and the subsequent disappointment on Tuesday when there was not a second letter awaiting you in English, I would not have written again. I thought that it would be a one and done thing but then again on Wednesday, when I saw your face fall when your desk was empty I knew I had to write you another.

Remember that poem I mentioned on Monday? Well here it is... Keep in mind that I am by no means a poet and rhyming definitely isn't my forte, so hopefully you will not judge it too harshly.

_I am a scholar_

_I am book smart_

_street dumb_

_I can tell you exactly how much energy is exerted by the zygomatic arch when you smile,_

_But I still don't know how to make you crack one._

_I can calculate the mass of the stars in our galaxy, but don't know what makes your universe go round._

_And I've been orbiting your world, trying to avoid detection for years._

_From the moment I met you I knew,_

_That first encounter was so short but for days afterward it was all I could think about,_

_The sparkle of your eyes was imprinted in my brain,_

_The mischievous quirk of your lips burned into my eyes,_

_The music of your voice locked in my eardrums._

_And I'm never letting go._

_I am a scholar,_

_But you make me feel like a fool._

_I learned in physics that objects only accelerate wen forces are unbalanced,_

_And since the force of you pulling on me is so great it's no surprise that I've accelerated into a vacuum._

_Did you know there's no sound in a vacuum because there's no air to vibrate, in my vacuum it's so tight I can't hear myself curse the past or damn the present._

_I am a scholar,_

_And you render me speechless,_

_One look at your flawless beauty and I can hardly form a coherent thought, much less communicate it._

_I used to be fearless,_

_But now I am constantly second guessing myself,_

_Checking and rechecking my decisions because of what you might think,_

_Nothing is good enough anymore because when it comes to you I am at a loss._

_I am a scholar,_

_I can write a rhetorical analysis of any text,_

_But I can't decode you to save my life,_

_Your constantly changing attitude is harder to describe than the color on a chameleon,_

_But I won't stop trying._

_Rachel, you are my kryptonite and my strength all at the same time,_

_My sin and salvation, _

_My heaven and hell,_

_I'm just not sure which one will win out._

I hope you liked it. Remember, I am no poet, but I couldn't bear to see you disappointed again. After all I have done to disappoint you, I wasn't going to let this be another area for me to let you down in.

Stay beautiful,

Anon

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**P.S. Thank you nicholee33 for your review, this chapter is for you and hopefully you will enjoy it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Short Bitty one for ya' this time, happy Sunday!**

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Friday, February 21, 2014

Dear Rachel,

Now that I have divulged the awkward poetry part of myself I feel like it's only fair that I share with you my true feelings about something else I see as vitally important. Finn Hudson.

He is a complete and total oaf. And not just because he is a tall, gangly, mess that can't hardly walk without tripping over her own feet, let alone play football or perform choreography. But because every time he opens his fool mouth to speak, all that comes out is a bumbling mess of pathetic, childish, whiny, disjointed, uttering.

Now I don't mean to rag on him, Finn and I have quite the past. But, honestly? You could do so much better. Think about it Rachel, you are smart, talented, beautiful, anyone would be incredibly lucky to have you. Which brings me to the real question I have, why him?

Of all the other people in this school, why him?

That's not even like a 'woe is me who wasn't chosen by Rachel' reason for asking you why, it is a legitimate, what the hell were you thinking girl? You knew how worthless and potato-like he was before you started dating him and yet there you go! Inexplicably choosing to subject yourself to that kind of a relationship for so long.

I really don't mean to bring him down-like I said we have quite the history- and the last thing that I would want to do is insult you in my questioning but I guess I just needed you to know that you do have options. Although they might not be obvious in the way you think they should be right now, they do exist and they are just wishing that they could date you... or just be better friends with you. Because honestly Rachel, this is so tiring.

Having to pretend I don't care and constantly making sure I'm not revealing my feelings is exhausting. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up, but I know I need to. So until next time my sweet,

Love,

Anon


	4. Chapter 4

Monday, February 24, 2014

Dear Rachel,

You probably don't know this, but I don't get sick like ever. Yesterday I was tempted to take my temperature because I swore I was hallucinating, like legit seeing things. Because I saw you and Finnept in a fight.

Remember? At the football game on Saturday?

I was there, with most of the student population and after we lost and you went down off the bleachers to talk to him and probably console his oafish loser ass. And he said something and dear goodness did you ever go off on him!? God it took all of my will power not to smile or laugh my ass off!

I would like to think that I had something to do with that, though it's probably not the cause. So for now I'll just continue to quietly observe and cross my fingers for you to break up.

If you do, who knows. We just might be able to talk in person.

No, that's just cruel of me to promise to you that we will talk. But I can dream that it will happen one day, and I guess it just might happen. Anyway, I hope you are doing alright after that, and if you aren't I will kick Hudson's ass.

Which brings me to my second main issue in today's letter. You are as subtle as a freight train Rachel Berry!

Honestly, I should have expected nothing less from you. I am, however, surprised that it took you a whole three letters from me before you insisted on trying to figure out who I am. So when you announced in glee club this morning before school that you demanded on knowing the identity of the person writing you anonymous letters I almost choked... Hopefully you didn't notice!

My answer to the question of who I am is- sorry but hell no! Do you understand the meaning of 'Anon'? But I will give you this; if you want to write back to me you can leave your letter inside of the cover of _Pride and Prejudice_ in the school library.

Love,

Anon

P.S. You are insanely cute when you're mad. It makes me want to act like a little boy on a playground who pulls the cute girl's pigtails because he has a crush.


	5. Chapter 5

_Monday, February 24, 2014_

_Dear Anon,_

_Let me first begin by saying thank you. Your letters have been keeping me sane and putting a smile on my face for the past few days and I'm so happy that you gave me the opportunity to write you back! _

_And just so you know I am determined to find out who you are, whether you like it or not! You already said that you were in Glee in your last letter so that narrows it down. Plus if you were able to hear my fight with Finn on Saturday then you must have been somewhat close and the only people close to us was the football team, the cheerios, and Kurt. And I'm like 99.8% positive you aren't Kurt. _

_By the way, I can be very subtle if I want! I am not always as obvious as a 'freight train' as you seem to believe. Just for that I'm going to be as subtle as humanly possible, you will hardly notice me!_

_I wish I could talk to you in person and tell you how much I love that poem that you wrote for me last week. It absolutely made my day and was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. So thank you for that. _

_While I respect your opinions about Finn- and am certainly starting to share some as our relationship wears on- I would appreciate you not calling him by those mean names. I understand your reasons for disliking him (at least one of your reasons) but still, for me please?_

_I guess I started dating him because he was there and so was I. I was lonely for a long time in high school and didn't have good self esteem or anything like that because of the bullying I constantly received and Finn was one of the first people to be genuinely kind to me._

_I know he's about as smart as a sack of potatoes- tell him that and I will end you- but he really can be sweet and he tries. Lord knows he tries. Now I guess we've just grown around each other and life was easier with him in it. All of that, however, is changing and I'm not sure where our future is headed._

_My warmest regards, _

_Rachel Berry._

_P.S. Why did you choose this book for me to leave letters in?_

_P.P.S. I will find out who you are ;)_


	6. Chapter 6

**I love seeing your reviews and your guesses, keeps me motivated to keep on trucking with this story! From here out there should be 2 letters a chapter so there aren't like a billion chapters, ones from Rachel are in italics, ones from Anon are normal.**

**I may be changing the first couple of chapters to two letters a chapter too, not sure but if that does happen, don't get confused!**

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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I will concede that I am either on the football team or a cheerio as well as being in Glee club. And I'm offended that you only gave me a 0.2% chance of not being lady Hummel. Sorry, Kurt. I swear I'm really not a bitch, it just seems like it to a lot of people.

As far as you being subtle, while you were indeed more quiet than normal in English today, I have to say, there is no way that I could not notice you. From the second you walk into a room I am aware of your presence because you fill the space up with your happiness and light. Just being in the same place as you gives me goosebumps and I swear I would burst into flames if you touched me.

Enough of my creepy stalker side, let's talk about yours shall we? Don't think I didn't notice you sitting in the library for the better part of an hour, getting all excited whenever somebody would go near the A's because you thought it would be me going to get your letter. Your little spying games aren't going to work!

I appreciate you sharing your reasoning for dating Finn with me, and I'm not proud to admit that it makes sense and I can relate. I have been sucked into more bad relationships than I care to mention out of simple fear of being alone.

The only thing keeping me single now is that I've found no matter who I'm with or how amazing they are, they aren't you. I'm holding out for the right person, and you should too. Figure out who it is that you absolutely are positive you want to date, and just go for it.

Even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried.

Before you say anything, yes I know exactly how hypocritical that advice is seeing as that is just the thing that I refuse to do with you, but hell, nobody's perfect.

Above all, don't be afraid to be single. Instead of having to figure out who you are in relation to someone else, you can figure out who you are. And that is one of the most important things you can do. Just take some time and really learn who you are, the answer might surprise you. It sure as hell did for me.

Indefinitely yours,

Anon.

P.S. I chose _Pride and Prejudice_ because it's one of my favorite novels. Well that and nobody else at this school seems to share my taste in literature because in all the years I've gone here I have never once seen it missing because it was checked out by someone other than me.

P.P.S. No you won't :)

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_Tuesday, February 25, 2014_

_Dear Anon,_

_I will learn your identity yet! Only a girl would refer to herself as not being a 'bitch' which means that you are one of the three Cheerios in Glee club. Keep slipping up like that and I'll know who you really are by the end of the week ;). From your letters there is no way that I would think for a second that you are a bitch, but I understand your reluctance to reveal your identity because of how you act to the rest of the school. _

_I must say, I'm extremely flattered by what you said about being able to notice me all the time. I can't remember someone was so romantic and honest about their feelings towards me. It's not a 'creepy stalker side' at all! (Though I do admit that my trying to spy on you in the library was- even if I didn't see you)._

_What you said about being single really did make sense to me and connected with something I've been thinking a lot about lately, which is who I am. I don't really know. It used to be so simple, I was Rachel Barbra Berry, destined for greatness and to sing and act on Broadway. But recently I'm not so sure. High school changes people and I'm not so sure that I can make it to Broadway anymore. I used to think that if I worked hard enough anything was possible, but now I've seen too many people who worked incredibly hard and have ended up right back where they started for me to be sure of anything. _

_I will continue to pursue my dream, mainly because at this point I don't know any alternative. But maybe that dream will change as I get older and figure out who I am more. _

_Recently- about thirty seconds ago- I made a decision. I'm going to break up with Finn. I just don't know if I can do it alone. Will you please be there? You don't have to tell me who you are or anything, I just need to know that there is someone who supports me there when I do it. It's going to be Thursday after Glee practice. That way you can be there and it won't be obvious that you are, you know? Please? I need the backing.  
_

_Maybe it will inspire you to overcome your fears too and tell me who you are ;). _

_What did you learn about yourself that surprised you? You said that when you were single and got to know yourself you were shocked so what was it? I hope it's not too personal of a question._

_Thank you for everything, _

_Rachel Berry._

_P.S. I love Pride and Prejudice too! Why is it your favorite novel? I agree though, nobody in this town has good taste in books, especially after those Twilight books came out. All downhill since._

_P.P.S. It's narrowed down to three now, I'm onto you!_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thanks for those reviews, it seems there is a runaway guessing for Quinn who came up from behind after a 20 dollar setback to Santana, how this race is heating up ;). No really the reviews are encouraging and keep me on track to keep this updated quickly. Sorry in advance, this is a shorter chapter. **

** priscilla20- You really are too kind on my poetry, but just for you I'll see if I can't come up with another one for a future chapter.**

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Dear Rachel,

Two things:

First. A boy can totally refer to himself as a bitch, that does not automatically make me a girl! Although I will admit that if I were a boy referring to himself as a bitch from Glee club I would have to be Lady Hummel, and we already determined that there was only a .2% chance of that happening. Although I think that you just want to believe that I'm a cheerio because you want a cheerleader to have a massive, heart wrenching, intolerable, life-altering crush on you. ;)

Second. Of course I will be there for you tomorrow when you break up with the man child. I wouldn't imagine you having to do that on your own. Don't you worry, I will be there for you, even if you can't tell explicitly, I will be there for you.

I'm confident you can do this and that this decision will turn out to be the best thing for you in the long run, even if it hurts right now. Just know that I'm always here if you need to talk about it- well write about it I guess. When I went through a really bad break up a while ago (yup I'm being vague on purpose) I internalized everything I was feeling and it resulted in some really self destructive and not well thought out decisions on my part.

Which is the exact thing that I want to happen to you, so don't be afraid to write to me about anything. I'm great at talking people down:).

Best of Luck Tomorrow,

Anon

P.S. I love Pride and Prejudice for oh so many reasons. First there is Elizabeth who is quite possibly the best fictional character ever, I mean her wit and the development of her and her relationship with Mr. Darcy is just amazing. And Jane Austen's comedic satirical edge is often overlooked, but I love how in this novel she is able to highlight it while still making a point without over loading on the satire. It is just the perfect personification of the struggle back then between gender and social classes which is still even applicable today.

And the quotes that come out of that thing! Holy mother of quote goldmines! "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment." I mean I love pretty much anything Mr. Darcy says. And I'll admit that Pride and Prejudice is also one of my favorite movies.

P.P.S. Now that you've got it narrowed down to us three cheerleaders what on earth will you do to tell which one it is?

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_Wednesday, February 26, 2014_

_Dear Anon,_

_Thank you so much! That means more to me than you could ever understand. _

_Love,_

_Rachel Berry_

_P.S. I too am a sucker for Mr. Darcy. And from now on I'm going to call you Jane as in Jane Doe, Jane Austen Lover, and Jane Bennet (your shyness and reluctance to reveal your identity remind me of her)._

_P.P.S. I have my ways._

_P.P.P.S Sorry this letter is so short, the breakup has been weighing on my mind lately and I need to figure out how I'm going to do it. Thank you for your support through all of this. I wouldn't be able to do it without knowing you are there. _


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- Sorry I didn't update earlier, I'm trying to do this one every week day but then the issues with the site being down just threw me off! To make it up I have three letters here for you so enjoy :) Also, the last letter has a poem and the poem is in italics, it isn't Rachel writing, hers is the middle letter, hopefully that won't cause too much confusion.**

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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dear Rachel,

Today's the day! I sort of feel like this is what they must have felt like just before they were going to storm the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. Alright, I admit that's a really out there analogy, but still. Today is the day you are going to break up with the oaf and I will be there cheering you on every step of the way- quietly from the sidelines where you won't be able to notice me.

Don't second guess yourself, it's totally normal to get cold feet and think that you are making the wrong decision but you aren't. You have thought long and hard and come to the conclusion that your life is better out of a relationship with him than in one. Now make it so!

Just remember that you can do it!

I'm not sure if you have read The Help- another amazing book- but Aibileen at one point tells this young girl she is raising, "You is kind. You is Smart. You is Important." and that's her confirmation thing. It is just a dorky little thing that I repeat to myself when I have to trust in my judgement on big decisions.

I know you are probably thinking I'm a super nerd or something but reading is just something I like doing in my free time. When I was a kid my house wasn't the best environment, with my parents fighting and stuff, so I would spend a lot of time hiding at the library. I don't get to read nearly as much as I would like to anymore, but I still manage.

And I just word vomitted everywhere because I'm nervous for you... Don't worry, everything will be fine! Anyways, good luck today. I have complete faith in you.

All my love and best wishes,

Anon

P.S. (I refuse to go by Jane, too Tarzan)

P.P.S. I'm sure you have your ways, too bad they're no match for my mad skills ;)

P.P.P.S. Don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll make it up to me (:

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_Friday, February 28, 2014_

_Dear Jane,_

_Well I did it! That still hadn't fully sunk in until I went home yesterday after Glee club and checked my voicemail. Everything may have seemed to go fine when I broke it off at school. But that was just what Finn let everyone see._

_I mean just about everyone from Glee club was watching us when I told him we were through so he couldn't say anything besides, "Ok, I don't really understand Rachel." But he has a side I have never seen before and didn't expect. He left me this long ranting voicemail going on about how I'm just a stuck up prude and I broke up with him because I don't want to put out for him. He said that no other person would even think about asking me out and that he was my only option in this school. _

_I cried for hours after that._

_Now I know I made the right decision in dumping him, I just wonder if he was right. It's not like people are lining up round the block to ask me out. And everyone does it in high school anyway, whats the big deal?_

_So while I have no regrets about breaking up with Finn, how will I know in the future if I'm making the right decision? Finn made this the easiest it could possibly be, but I know that in the future no breakup will be this simple. How do you ever know if it really is the right time to end it?_

_Thank you,_

_Rachel Barbra Berry_

_P.S. Jane is not too Tarzan! If anything it's too plain to encapsulate all of the amazing-ness you are!_

_P.P.S. It's narrowed down to two now! Brittany wasn't there yesterday because she had to do Lord Tubbington's taxes so you are either Santana or Quinn..._

_P.P.P.S. Consider yourself made up to!_

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I have to admit something, I knew you were hurt after school on Thursday. When I feel horrible I always have to get out of my house and most of the time I got to that park down the road from Breadstix. Well last night I was on a run because Sylvester wants all the Cheerios to lose weight, and I saw you sitting on a bench, crying. I spent an hour trying to find th courage to co over and comfort you, but I couldn't do it. Instead I hid on the other side of the park and watched you.

I knew that you would know it was me in an instant so I just made sure that you were alright. I watched you dry your tears and leave determinedly. I'm a chicken shit.

To make up for it though, I wrote this, and hopefully it will answer the question from your last letter.

_When is enough, enough, and when does it become too much?_

_When do you push away and go your own way?_

_When the options become: put out or get puget put back on the market,_

_When you spent all day getting ready for his quickie,_

_That's when you know it's time that you go._

_When he wants it so bad, he tried to make it special,_

_When he offers to cook you dinner before,_

_When he forgets you are a vegan and he makes you chicken,_

_When he assumes that you won't mind because after all, it's the thought that counts,_

_That's when the time has come to come undone._

_When your conversations grow shortened to single syllables,_

_When the times his hands are on you far outnumber the times they aren't,_

_When he loses all interest in talking unless it's about himself,_

_When his hand gravitates ever higher on your thigh,_

_That's when you need to go or risk losing all respect with your self-esteem in tow._

_When it takes more than one entirely serious 'stop' to get him to back off,_

_When he cares more about his friends asking him if he's 'getting any' than if you are ready to 'give any',_

_When he lies and says he is,_

_When the three letter word is more important than the four letter one,_

_That's when you know there's no more hope and it's time to leave the dope._

Hopefully that helped, I know my rhyming is still pretty tragic. But don't think for a second that you made the wrong decision. He doesn't deserve you in the slightest. If you need to talk, please don't hesitate in calling on me to help you work through this.

Love,

Anon

P.S. Fine, I'm not B, but still there's no way you'll be able to guess who I am from your options and your 'skills'.

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**Hope you all liked it, I'm sorry if any of you are Finn fans and I know it's kind of OOC for him but it just fit in my mind. Thank you for the reviews, I love all the guesses and the reasoning behind them. How was this poem? Be honest!**

**Thanks for reading- 13**


	9. Chapter 9

Monday, March 3, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I saw Finn in the hall today when you were standing at your locker before first period. He smiled and nodded at you and you smiled back.

It took everything I had to not go over there and smack him. You are killing me.

Love,

Anon

P.S. Yes I did literally just write this while standing against _my _locker watching that happen, and now you smiled at me and you are killing me like twice as much because I can't smile back because it will betray who I am. And now I'm going to excuses myself from the other two cheerios I'm standing with to run to the library and drop this off in the book before class because I just _have to._

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_Tuesday, March 4, 2014_

_Dear Jane,_

_Goodness, there is so much I feel I need to say to you but when I try to get it all out if just becomes this jumbled mess, I've tried to write this letter three times already and each one is staring at me from my bedroom wastebasket like they are mocking me. And there goes the word vomit again. But this time I'm not stopping, there will be no editing, this is what I'm feeling and you are about to get a pure, unadulterated piece of my mind._

_First, I cannot express to you how much I wish you had come up to me at the park on Friday and just sat with me and told me everything would be alright. I cannot wait for the day when you are finally confident enough and ready to reveal who you are. It is such an odd feeling to be so closely attached to someone that they become the first and only person you want to tell when something big happens, but you don't even know their names. I feel like you know me so well and we have this deep connection but I still don't know who you are. It's killing me like I'm apparently killing you._

_Second, that poem. I have read it so many times over the past couple of days that I have it entirely memorized by now. Same with the rest of your letters, I keep the most recent one you write with me all the time and read it when I need the encouragement or when I'm feeling lonely. As a result, most of them are very worn by now. But I also know a lot of them verbatim (my photographic memory helps with this greatly). That poem just put me at ease and made me feel something so deep, it blows me away that you wrote it for me. I cannot possibly hope to express my gratitude in a mere letter.  
_

_Love, Anon._

_P.S. You almost make me want to start smiling at Finn more to try to antagonize you into talking to me. ALMOST, but not quite..._

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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I have been toying with the idea of revealing myself to you... I just realized how perverted that sounded, but I'm not changing it because hopefully it will make you smile- lord knows you of all people ought to smile more.

I just can't shake the feeling that when I do tell you who I am, it will be like I've been caught with my pants around my ankles- smile at that one too- and what would we do from there?

I love you. More so than I've ever loved someone before, granted I haven't exactly been given much to lose, but still. What would we do? You know I'm a cheerleader, there's no logical way we could be together. Not here, not now. Maybe if we were older and didn't live in conservative- as- hell Lima, Ohio.

Of course, those facts just make me think, 'what the hell?' why not go for it? So that's just what I think I'll do! Tomorrow, meet me at that park on that bench. Four-thirty, after school.

I promise I'll be there.

Love, Anon

P.S. I swear when you smiled and patted Finn on the arm yesterday in Glee club I almost punched him... again.

P.P.S. The 'again' in the above P.S. does not help you narrow down who I am because both cheerios you narrowed me down to, have punched him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey all! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, it looks like it will likely be the last if not close to. All of your reviews have been immensely enjoyable and I would like to thank you all for those and ask you to please tell me what you think of this chapter, particularly the last letter (I know I'm going forward in time like twelve hours but just go with it)**

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Friday, March 7, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I'm sorry. I am so incredibly sorry. More sorry than you could possibly imagine right now. And you have every right to be mad at me, every right to ignore me, not read my letters, give me the cold shoulder, and shoot me disappointed glares in the hallway. But, please. Let me try to explain.

I was there, in the park. I got there an hour early because I wanted to be there before you. For about half of that hour early I just paced around and got weird looks from random people because it was a Thursday after school and I was walking around the park in this ridiculous dress carrying a bouquet of flowers. That's right, I got you flowers.

Although I hope you already know that because I left them on you door step. I didn't have time to write a card.

Anyways, there I was in the park an hour early pacing around and freaking out and just fifteen minutes before I was supposed to meet you I got a call. It was my best friend. Her mother was in the hospital for an emergency procedure and she needed me there. I couldn't just leave her alone so I had to leave you.

I'm sorry. I know it's the second time I've left you stranded on a park bench, but I stopped by your house on my way to the hospital and left the flowers on your porch. I hope you got them.

Please forgive me,

Anon

* * *

Monday, March 10, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I waited all day and checked the library between every single class, and I guess you took me up on the suggestion of the cold shoulder. Though I know that you will continue reading these because the last note from Friday was gone so either you picked it up or some random person.

I'm going to keep the faith and hope it was you.

When I think of you lately, especially after you sang 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' in glee on Friday with only the piano accompanying you, I remember middle school. See, when I was growing up my Mom would save her extra money each week and get herself a manicure. She used to always tell me that you can tell how much a person cares by what their nails look like, but when I went into middle school she decided that she wanted me to learn the piano. She used all of her manicure money and whatever else she could scrape together to pay for lessons for me.

I used to hate going to those lessons, the woman's house where I learned, smelled like a million cats and I was always sneezing and she would give me this glare when I hit the wrong notes. So I practiced a lot, but we didn't have a piano in our house so I would have to do it at the school. I would rush from my last class to the practice room outside the choir room with the best piano and then lock the door and wait quietly for all the students to leave the halls before I would start playing. I was always so afraid of what everyone would think of how I sounded, I never went to any of the recitals or tried out for the orchestra.

Since my mom was spending all her money on my lessons, she would have to do her nails at home and she didn't exactly have the steadiest hand. When I asked her how much she cared because her nails didn't look beautiful any more, she told me that she put all of her care and love in me.

I still hate playing the piano, but you remind me of it Berry. I don't know if it's your selfless devotion to the glee club and making sure everyone's needs are met, or if it's the way you put your friends above yourself and give everything to help them. All I know, is that you make me want to start playing the piano again.

Please write me back.

Love,

Anon

* * *

_Tuesday, March 11, 2014_

_Dear Santana,_

_I know that you used to run from the last class of the day to the best practice room when we were in middle school because you always beat me to it. I would hole up in the one next door to practice my scales and my singing and on days when I didn't have much to work on I would just sit on the floor in the corner near the grate that leads to the AC duct between the practice rooms and I would listen to you play._

_I fell in love with you back then. Of course in middle school I couldn't identify that feeling, but I knew that I wanted to be close to you, and try as I might. It was no easy feat._

_Don't be too surprised that I called you out on your true identity, I've known since last month when you called Kurt 'Lady Hummel', and I saw you in the park that day when I was broken up after Finn and I broke up. I waited there for you to talk to me, but I had to go at some point. Oh, and I saw you threaten Finn in the hallway after school the day after we ended it. That kind of made my day._

_I heard about Brittany's mom shortly after your letter on Friday and hope that everything is alright with her, please know that you have nothing to be sorry for. I completely understand that you had to got support her and I will happily be blown off to that end. But I really do hope that we can meet face to face soon. Hopefully my guessing your identity will make this easier on you._

_I apologize for jumping the gun and saying who you are. Though I have known for a while, I intended to keep quiet until you were ready to tell me yourself, but given recent events I was starting to think that you would never be ready and I couldn't just stand by and watch you struggle alone so my options were reduced to either write this letter and tell you I already know, or jump you in the hallway. I figured you would be much less appreciative of the second. _

_So consider this my acceptance and my verification that I, Rachel Barbra Berry indeed, fully and truly like Santana Lopez a considerable amount and am fully committed to doing whatever need be to prove it. I have no idea where we go from here. But hopefully it will be somewhere good._

_Love,_

_Rachel Berry_

_P.S. Told you my skills were amazing ;)_

* * *

**Well, was your guess right? Do you like how Rachel just took matters into her own hands? Where do you think that the two will go/ do you want to know what happens next?**

**Cheers, Ms. Informed13**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- Sorry it took so long to update but here it is, Read, Review, Rock on!**

* * *

_Wednesday_,_ March 12, 2014_

_Dear Santana,_

_Please don't shut me out. I really care about you Santana and I can't deal with losing you too right now, I feel like we have gotten so close over the last two months in these letters and I can't imagine my days going without the motivation of a letter from you. Please write me back Santana._

_Love,_

_Rachel._

* * *

_Thursday, March 13, 2014_

_Dear Santana,_

_I love you, write me back damn it._

_-Rachel_

* * *

_Friday, March 14, 2014_

_Dear Santana, _

_Remember when you first learnt to play 'On My Own' from Les Miserables on the piano? It was right at the end of eighth grade and everyone was getting ready to go onto highschool, people were leaving to go to different schools and it felt like the end of the world. Well one day after school when I was sitting in my practice room I heard that song coming through the AC vent and I could just close my eyes and feel at peace for the first time in weeks. _

_Ever since that day it's been one of my favorite songs, whenever something happens that I just need to escape from I drive my car down that old dirt road behind the mall and blare that song until I have to pull over. I don't know if you know but it was my audition song for glee club. _

_I just wanted to let you know that. _

_Please write me,_

_Rachel Barbra Berry_

* * *

_Monday, March 17, 2014_

_Dear Santana,_

_I know you are reading these letters because they aren't in the book anymore. Please write back. I'm sorry if you are mad that I outed who you were but its been only four days without a letter from you and they have been the worst four days of my highschool life. _

_Seeing you in the halls breaks my heart. I can see the dark circles under your eyes that are a dead giveaway that you too have spent your fair share of recent nights sleepless, and I can't help but feel guilty for those. Every time we lock eyes in Glee club or one of our classes and you look away as fast as you can it hurts like a punch in the gut. _

_ I can't stop looking at you._

_Remember those poems you wrote me? Yeah the paper they are on is so worn that they are practically falling apart at their creases because I carry them with me everywhere and read them so much I have each line practically memorized. _

_Don't shut me out,_

_Rachel_

* * *

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Dear Rachel,

I can't believe that you kept quiet this long if you have know who I really am since the beginning, that's so un-Berry like of you. But nonetheless, I am glad that you did. And I'm equally glad that you outed me now. After that meeting got royally fucked up I don't know how I would have been able to screw up the courage to do it all over again.

I apologize for not writing back for so long. I just needed time to think and try to clear my head and figure out where we could possibly go from here, to which I have no fucking clue. Sorry for the language but I am at a loss. I mean you saw what happens to Kurt (not that I'm much of a help with that) and you already take enough shit at this school (not that I'm much of a help with that either) I can't imagine what it would be like for you if you came out as gay on top of that... You are gay right? This isn't like some confused Berry thing where we would date for two weeks- never going out in public because someone might see- and you break it off because you 'got over it' and go back to your boyfriend? Because I've done that enough times and don't think I could go through that with you too.

What do you think we should do from here? It really is up to you, Rachel. I would do anything and everything to protect you, should you decide that you want to go on with some sort of a relationship with me.

Love,

Santana

* * *

_Wednesday, March 19, 2014_

_Dear Santana,_

_Thank you so much! I was so afraid that you weren't ever going to write to me again and I couldn't stand that thought, I was about to go all 'Say Anything' on your front lawn with a boom box... But then I realized that I don't know where you live so I couldn't do that. _

_Anyway, as for where we go from here. I know you brought this up before and I don't care where we go from here as long as I'm with you. You know I've never done anything like this with a girl before but I've also never felt this way with someone else before, boy or girl. One thing I know for sure is that you are more than a passing fancy, you are something that I want and would be willing to endure whatever the neanderthals at this school can dish out for us to be together. I don't care what the repercussions are for me. I just want to be with you._

_So, how would you like to go on a date with me? Nothing big and scary, just dinner and a movie maybe? I think it would be an easy first step for us to take so we can get to know each other better and be able to talk face to face instead of killing trees with our letters (though I do love them). I truly do want the chance to date you and show that I'm more than the diva everyone seems to think I am. _

_Does Friday night work for you to go out?_

_Love, _

_Rachel_

* * *

**A/N- Thank you all for staying with this story through the long time between updates, I made sure to keep up with a letter a day so you still get all of them, just sort of belated updating. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you all so much for your encouraging reviews thus far!  
Smiley Author- nice guess! And that 20 bucks has been donated to my college fund, sorry! ;)  
**


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